人們常常認為漂亮的女人，有錢的男人很容易找對象。 喜歡他們的人排隊等着。他們可以任意挑選。 但這種觀念恰恰沒有發生在Wendy 身上。
Wendy是公眾認為的靚女。 她1.70米高，很苗條。原來曾經跳過舞，所以身材也特別好。 來澳洲20多年中，她也很努力，自己創業，成了一名百萬富翁。沒有人懷疑她找不到人。 但她恰恰在找對象過程中很不順利。尋尋覓覓多年，還單身一人。 當然有人喜歡她，但她不喜歡。但她喜歡的人，對方又不喜歡她。
為了幫助Wendy, 我與好幾位她曾經喜歡的男士聊過。我發現他們給Wendy的反饋很相識。他們都承認Wendy漂亮。 也說她有很好的性格。但都表示Wendy 不懂一些必要的禮貌和禮節。比如，Wendy 喜歡嚼口香糖。 約會時，她的嘴一直在嚼着口香糖。在西方文化中，她這樣做很不禮貌。
還有一位男士告訴我他們的第一次約會大約持續了1.5小時。在此期間，Wendy的手機幾乎沒有停止過。她接了將近10個電話。 因為講的都是中文，那位男士聽不懂他們在說什麼。從禮貌的角度，在當地社會中大部分人在與人約會，或開會時都自覺關閉手機，或放入震動。他們認為 這是對人的尊重。但Wendy不僅不斷接聽手機，而已不為此抱歉。這使 這位男士認為她沒有禮貌。
我還聽到一位男士對她的抱怨。兩人事先約好見面。 但Wendy到了10分鐘後就說有其他事必須離開。 而那位男士為了與她的約會推脫了其他事。他認為Wendy急促離去很不尊重他人。
我聽了男士的這些反饋很有感慨。 我相信不是每一位男士都會抱怨Wendy的這些表現。但所抱怨的人正好是Wendy有興趣了解的人。他們在主流社會受過教育，有正當，甚至成功生意。他們的成長，生活和工作都習慣於必要的文明禮貌。 Wendy的做法令他們吃驚，不舒服。
我相信Wendy的這些表現不是出自本意。她可能根本不知道和人說話，嘴裡不應該嚼食物； 她可能認為和人約會時沒有必要關閉手機。來了電話當然應該接； 她也可能真的有事，所以坐了10分鐘就要離開。她做的一切都可以理解，但這些行為影響了她物色優秀男士的目標。
談戀愛也是與人打交道的一種形式。 無論什麼原因，或者無論與誰相處，我們都應該懂得基本的禮貌和禮節， 我們也希望對方以同樣的方式與我們相處。在文明社會中，人的文明素質在提高，對文明的要求也同樣在增加。
當然，我們還要意識到中，西方社會和文化對文明，禮貌的標準和習俗可能不同。比如在中國嘴裡嚼着食物和人說話沒有問題。與人相會時大家都開着手機，都在接電話，所以也不是問題。 而這些在亞洲社會不重要的事在西方社會卻被看成那麼重要。暫時不了解這些事的重要性不是問題，問題是永遠不了解，或不想了解。
還有一些人認為那些禮貌和禮節是做給他人看的。只要自己喜歡，或認為有必要，做到這些也不難。 為此在與那些被認為不在乎的人交往時，他們就不在乎那些禮貌和禮節。 估計Wendy第一次約會只給10分鐘的那位是她沒有興趣的男士。但我想說的是我們生活中的任何表現，或言語都是出於習慣。 如果不把必要的禮貌和禮節培養稱習慣，那麼有一天遇到自己喜歡的人，那些不文明也一定會露陷的。
陳小姐婚戀
電話 : （03）9670 4551 / (03) 9670 4553
工作時間：
周一至周五10AM至5：30PM；周六10AM至5PM
墨爾本地址：
Suite 503, 365 Little Collins St, Melbourne VIC 3000
阿德萊德地址：
91 King William Street, Adelaide SA 5000
塔斯曼尼亞 霍巴特地址：
11 Macquarie Street, Hobart TAS 7000
本文由看新聞網轉載發布，僅代表原作者或原平台觀點，不代表本網站立場。 看新聞網僅提供信息發布平台，文章或有適當刪改。
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